These days when the concept of continuing with one relationship - leading a one solid foundation of a family - is slowly losing ground, it's very rare (and perhaps outdated) to hear the very words and suggestions that make such ONE-RELATIONSHIP possible! But thanks to social media, we still have some people actively promoting and "conserving" such ideas to the best of their abilities.
One such person is my LI friend, Andy Cawston - the CEO and Chairman of International Alliance of Guardian Angels NZ Charitable Trust, New Zealand. Recently Andy celebrated his Anniversary, and I thought of congratulating him on his long successful married life, and asked him the secret of this success.
Here's his 10 points, reproduced word-to-word, for the benefit of all of you:
- Stay celibate until you meet the "right girl". This avoids the risk of bringing children into the world with a girl you do not intend to marry, for Abortion is an abomination and out of the question.
- It is better to never meet the "right girl" than to marry the "wrong girl". Divorce is costly and gut-wrenching, to be avoided. Be very selective.
- When she is ready, the right girl will find you, when you least expect it. When she does, get a ring onto her finger pronto.
- Commit to marriage as a "one-shot deal", no second chances. Divorce is out of the question. It is imperative to make the marriage work no matter what.
- Never, ever cheat. Don't even entertain the possibility. If you have done 1 thru 4 properly, this step should be really easy to follow. Other women will try to seduce you: dismiss them curtly and do not tolerate their advances.
- Every day and in every way remind yourself how lucky you are and be thankful for the wonderful person who is your wife, show your gratitude to her at every opportunity, and brag about her given the least excuse.
- On the odd occasion when you do not see eye to eye with her, never go to bed angry. Either sort it out, or stay up all night. Never, ever harm her.
- Be a generous, protective and loving husband. Your only duty for the rest of your life is to please her and keep her safe.
- When you marry a woman you also marry her family. Your life on this planet will be much, much easier if you can get along with your in-laws. It will be even better if they like you.
- Be a jealous husband. Let no man doubt that it is Death to lay so much as one finger on your wife. Be a really nice guy, but leave no illusions as to the certain fate of any man foolish enough to cross that boundary. If you sincerely mean it, they will believe you.
However this is not going to hold for long, esp. since the "pedigree" is getting diluted fast due to invasion of easy information sharing, Cable TV, Facebook, Internet, and similar channels - which open up all possibilities of luring human frailties and weaknesses into something fast and quick (e.g. cut paste friendship; blind dating; short-term anonymous flicks; etc.).
The value-based sections / societies of Europe and Americas were not born with these ills - but have nevertheless been affected to a deeper level. And as such when these values get popularized and publicized by the ever penetrating media, we get all the ills that majority of developed societies are experiencing now.
It is because of these reasons I find the above suggestions extremely important to hold the "family" in the Western world, or in every society which is rolling towards adopting the "fringe-liabilities" that have come packaged with the western lifestyle.
You can contact Andy at firstname.lastname@example.org